Housewife?? Hardly!!

So I have come to the realization that I am NOT a housewife! I receive NO pleasure in cleaning up after my kids, doing mountains of laundry, scrubbing toilets or cooking dinner. Now, this is not a new discovery, just a public one now. I am coming out and declaring 'I AM NOT A HOUSEWIFE!!!!!' I'm not trying to be perfect at it, not even trying to be good at it. Just trying to DO it! When we moved here, I told David I wanted to stay home. Thought it would be 'fun' to hang out with my kids all day, go to the park, hang out with other moms, go to the zoo... Well, give me a job ANYDAY!!! See, that is what it was like when I was a nanny. It WAS fun! We did all kinds of fun things. Why is it different then? Oh, maybe because I am also paying bills, doing ALL the housework, oh and I don't get off work at 7pm to go have 'me' time. You know, hand the kids over to someone else to take care of. I have a friend that likes being a housewife. She even says she is really good at it. I know she is. Why can I not even begin to even resemble a housewife?? Well, maybe this is why. I have come to realize a few things over the last 2 years...

First... I HATE running errands!!! Really, I do. I have never run errands before. Don't be shocked at this. David always ran the errands. Remember, he was a stay home dad for 10 years. I hate the Post Office, I hate the Gas Station, I hate the DMV, I hate shopping, I really don't enjoy any and all errands that must be done. The only thing I don't hate is going to the Grocery Store - but only late at night when I don't have kids with me and I can take my time wandering up and down the isles, meandering through the store while thinking about whatever I want uninterrupted. But then I buy a whole bunch of stuff I don't need. So, I hate running errands.

Second... I am LAZY!! I must be. I have no idea what I have accomplished in my days at home. I REALLY need to snap out of this. Another friend recently sold her business to stay home with her kids. She said something like 'I hope I can keep doing the same amount of stuff in a day that I did when I had the business.' I laughed. I use to do so much when I had my business. I was always running! ALWAYS!! I was so busy! But now I feel like I don't do anything! I can make a list of things I need to do, but by the end of the day, only one or two of the items are crossed off. Must be laziness...

Third... My brain is MUSH!! That list I just talked about. Yeah, the list only happens when I remember all the things I need to do (ok, not ALL). I usually only think of them as I am snuggled in my bed half asleep. 'Oh, I need to do ---- tomorrow, oh and ----, and I can't forget to do ----. Really, why can't I think of them when I have pen and paper in hand? I try, but alas, the thoughts are gone when I try to make a list. I cannot remember a THING!!

Fourth... Why Clean??? Really! You've heard the saying 'It's like shoveling snow in a snowstorm'. That would be my house! Why bother?!?!? I get it clean, spotless! Kids come home from school and all of the sudden, I can't see the kitchen counters or the carpet because there are wrappers, papers, schoolwork, notices, fundraisers, backpacks, shoes, socks and all kinds of -who knows what- all over my nice clean -or use to be clean- house! So why even try???

Those are just a few. Another question that comes to mind... Why is it that when I am sick I can't call in sick? I still have to be the Mom, housekeeper, cook, dutiful wife, nurse, taxi... I was not feeling well recently and I laid down to take a nap. When I got up the house was a wreck, the kids were out of control, dinner wasn't being prepared and everyone was yelling at me to do something! And where is their dad? Sitting in a chair, reading!! Really??? What's up with THAT??? Oh, and never mind that I WORK A JOB TOO!

So, I don't mean to complain. I just don't seem to be getting the hang of this whole housewife thing. Do women really find JOY in being a housewife?? Do you really enjoy doing housework? Cooking? Paying bills? I just don't get it! Maybe some of us are wired to be housewives and some of us are wired to be in the work force. I have wondered what things would be like if I did find a full time 'career' type job and David were to stay home again. Hmmm... Would it be better? Would I be happier? Or do I always want what I don't have?

Probably the last one.